New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
