I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
