i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
