hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize