Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
