I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
