What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
