Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
