she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
