Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
