I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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