i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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