I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize