i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
