So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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