Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
