Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
