Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
