I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
