I feel great
I just peed on a car
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
