and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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