i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
