Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
