When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
