So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm sobbing to NWA
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
