if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
