If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
