brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
