Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
