I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
