tell your sister to shave her snatch
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
