so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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