Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It's never too late to be topless.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
