me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
