I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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