I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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