u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
