Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize