theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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