love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
