Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
