I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
