yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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