I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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