Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
