I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Houston, we have a blender
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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