I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
