so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
