Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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