NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
