Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
