eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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