I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
