i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
