I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
