Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
