ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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