Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
