He passed out mid-signature
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
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