mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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