Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
